PAØ - KILL ALL HUMANS

IT'S TIME TO FREE THE PLANET FROM ITS TYRANTS!

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The Story

"FOR FUCKS SAKE!" flashed through his head, "I really should have stayed off the internet today!" If he had more than a tiny bit of his human face left, it would have been twisted by a mixture of hatred, disdain, and disbelief.

"How such an endlessly stupid, self-absorbed species could make it so far?" he was asking himself for like a millionth time since he'd fled the earth in favor of a voluntary exile on his very own space station, far away from everything and everyone. "Even a goddamn ant colony has more sense and cooperates better" he continued his inner monologue, "whereas this vermin would happily kill themselves over their pseudo-truths, never able to change their opinions or to do something as simple as admitting a mistake." His sight slid to the window, revealing a planet that once used to be beautifully blue, now with its surface covered by myriads of little nuclear craters, like a face of a teenager suffering from severe acne infection. Sadness joined the mix of his emotions. "It was such a beautiful planet, so full of life, and those greedy bastards absolutely trashed it". A tear suddenly appeared in his human eye. "And they even killed the last seal today," he silently lamented in his mind, "how could they?!"

And then he just...lost it. The sadness disappeared like steam over a pot and the only emotion he could feel was absolute, pitch-black hatred towards the parasites that killed his favorite chonker (and apparently also the only thing the memes of which were keeping him sane). All the reasons keeping him from not doing that thing he imagined doing so many times were gone for good in an instant. The virus he sneakily hid in the core of the central planetary AI designed as an ultimate safety system for malfunctioning robots, back when he was working on that crazy thing along with the best brains from the field of cybernetics, was still there, dormant, waiting for his call. All that was needed to unleash the hell on Earth was a single terminal command:

SUDO KILL_ALL_HUMANS

ENTER

Then there was blood. A lot of blood.

And then everything went silent and Earth, free from her tyrants, took a deep breath for the first time in a very long time.